We have met on a sunny morning, at the edge of the forest like last time. She had her trusted walking stick and we both had a raincoat as some drops were predicted. We walked together on the small path alongside frizzy bushes and branches hanging above our heads and after just a short stroll, she said: ‘Let’s go in here.’
We took a little turn to step into a hidden part of the forest, protected by low-hanging branches and a narrow path. It felt like entering through a port into a new, intimate world, that is part of the larger body of the forest, yet concealed from it, as we would exist on our own. Stepping into the field surrounded by the low trees created a space just for us, where we can focus and move through new levels.
Trusting what comes
Meeting her is always a surprise to me. A surprise as to what will happen. We keep it open what we will do on our walk, which part of my soul we will dive into. She is my coach. And I let her be my guide on where we are setting our next steps. I share my feelings, what is floating around in me in that moment or was in the weeks before. She then turns it around, looks for a deeper meaning and sets a step on the foresty path, showing where we will go.
It works perfectly for me. It is the first time that I am guided this way and in this context. The trees, the sun, the openness of the road, yet the trust that where we are going is good – it all forms a wholeness for me. It somehow resembles a natural path of life, where we move in and in sync with nature and we trust with our hearts the paths we are about to take.
Standing on that small, shaded field I already spoke my wishes. All the way on the narrow forest path, my words just kept coming on what has happened since our last soul-visit, what has been spooking around in my head, what has grabbed my heart. Her ‘special power’ is also her feeling to see beyond my words and gestures. She hails to the surface what lies inside, what is important. By the time we reached the little field, we decided that we will walk towards my mission.
Six lines on the ground
She drew six almond-shapes on the ground with her walking stick. She named them all as levels, stages of change or communication. Starting with my environment, then my behaviour, capabilities, values and beliefs, identity and all the way up to my mission. This is the path that I will walk up and then down again.
First we took a look at what lives inside me right now. We looked from the perspective of my work, where I find myself in all categories. For me, I would like my work to flow from my life purpose and the way I live, to come forward effortlessly. I started to walk towards my mission with curiosity.
These first steps, going ‘up’ (or down?) has been a struggle. We looked at how my current environment looks like, how my current behaviour is. How am I spending my days, who is there to talk to, to support me? What moves me, inspires me, where do I stand? What can I do very well? My enthousiasm grew as we walked through my values, a favourite area of mine and I hit a wall at my beliefs – there is so much that is holding me back! All the things that have happened, and many limiting things that I keep repeating to myself…
Brigthness came when we arrived to identity. Here I let myself go and went more deep inside. The longing to return to my true self has been there with me so long and my search has intensified in the last two years. Pieces that I found on who I have been and could be, showed themselves again. I had to search for words, yet I drifted effortlessly from talking about my identity to my mission. It was way more towards feelings than rationale and I said it out loud that I have a hard time bringing it forward. She encouraged me to leave the words behind and focus on the pictures and the feelings that come.
The picture of moving waves, coming and going and a vast sea emerged. I was figthing it in my head, rationalizing that ‘I have no connection with the sea this way’ and was confused why this picture came. She reassured me that explaining and thinking is not necessary. I could then let go and allow myself to ease into the feeling.
The sea promised an endless cycle, with its waters washing the shore. Bringing and then taking away. Coming closer and retreating. Reaching and letting go. It was calming as it always came and its sound surrounded me.
I sat on the coast with eyes closed and could totally go up in the experience. Being present yet not focused on the ego, being aware yet flexible to move with what comes. Full of trust and strength. Full aliveness.
There came threatening clouds, wind picking up and dancing around me and I welcomed it with openness. Let it flow and moved with it. I said: ‘I am here and I am part of it, as naturally as it comes and goes. I am present, I know who I am and in the same time I do not have to be anybody. I can freely dance with the wind and I am safe. I am one with it all.’
From this picture, from this feeling, all has just unfolded. The mission, the identity, all of it, as we walked backwards through the six stages. It has been much less as words, and more as a feeling of the mind and the body. It manifested itself as a state of being, sweet and palpable.
A mission in feelings
My mission came forward more as an experience than words and did not point explicitly to what is it that I should do. This is what I have hoped for, yearned for, a clear beam of light, like a finger pointing at ‘this is why you came to Earth’. Maybe this is a wish for an easy way, then the search is ‘done’, no need to look any more… Having searched for my values, purpose, mission many times, I always came up with something a little more refined, yet different. Dancing around a fire, not brave enough to move into it, not seeing clearly through the flames.
What was different this time is that a picture and feelings emerged and showed me a natural flow that I think we all wish our lives to be. So safe, so self-explanatory and ever-present. In a real FLOW, forgetting time and space and ourselves. The way this could bring me closer to myself is seeing where this emerges in my life. When do I feel like sitting by the sea and be one with it all…
We walked back on the small path, next to the bushes and inside me there was silence. It does not happen often. It does when I write. An intense time of focus and connection, real flow.
Her last advice before we parted? ‘Keep this connection. I revisit my mission daily, I connect to it and see how I can bring it into my life.’ So here it is. Here you have it, my sea, my light, my wonder for the world and all who lives in it. Keeping it, letting it flow.
The six stages are coming from the work of Robert Dilts (and people before him), called (Neuro)Logical Levels and used in Neuro-Linguistic programming (NLP). What I read about it online is that people connect it to Maslow's pyramid of needs and use it to reflect on change and where they are in life.